You do everything in your power to meet other people’s expectations. You keep your act together so you won’t let others down. You tend to go beyond and above just to earn others’ approval. But in most cases—sad but true—it’s yourself who you fail at the end of the day. Be it the one time when you could have pushed yourself a little bit; or when you get so frustrated for not being able to live to your own standards and values; or when the result of something you’ve worked hard for was not what you expected it to be.
When you’re upset with yourself, you tend to question your choices, ambitions, self-worth, and abilities. Disappointment in ourselves is the silent battle we individually fight with, but it should not keep our heads bowed. Past and present disappointments don’t define the core of who you are. After a trip, fall, or stumble, you must be able to pick yourself back up! The secret: self-compassion.
Ahead are the ways that can help you bounce back when the quicksand of disappointment starts to drown you:
1. It is what it is.
Accept what happened. Moving out of “I’ve let myself down” land starts with accepting what went wrong. Make sure you know when to stand up and recognize where and why you tripped off.
2. You are your best friend.
It’s easy to blame yourself in these situations, but you must remember that there’s no smooth and straight road; you are bound to encounter bumps and humps along the way. Try to cheer yourself up the way you would to a dear friend.
3. Divert your attention to something ‘healthy’.
It’s normal to reach for or turn to something that can cheer you up—binge-watch, sweets, etc. But you might end up stuck in this unhealthy loop. Try making yourself do something healthier and productive. Things that can stimulate your mind, lift your spirits, and boost your energy.
4. Ask the right questions.
In order to have the right answers, you must ask the right questions. Having the right answers can teach you what to and not to do next time. Try answering these questions:
●︎ Did you give yourself enough time?
●︎ Did you do the necessary prep work?
●︎ Did you set clear boundaries?
●︎ Did you ask for help?
Save yourself the trouble of beating and blaming by making things clear.
5. Understand this is just because you care.
You are upset that things didn’t go the way you planned because you care so much about it, that this is important for you. And you have nothing to be ashamed of for it just means that you really expend time and energy to make things happen. You are passionate about it therefore it’s only natural that you want only the best.
Take your time to stand up and brush yourself off. With the right mindset and reaction, you’ll be able to get back on track and keep moving.
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